To rely is to depend on someone or something. When we rely on others, we are connected to them, and our connection is from the position of being vulnerable.
People whose highest score is for the Relyer type seem to have an especially deep need for connection and belonging. The approach they often take to fulfill this need is to look to others to take care of them or give to them. They are usually more comfortable depending on others than having others depend on them, and so they tend to be in the receiving mode in their relationships. Although Relyers may be highly functioning in their life as a whole, they seem to have a talent for eliciting help from others. Apart from any specific need, though, what they typically value most are the powerful and fulfilling bonds they form through their dependency on others.
People whose primary type is the Relyer often have a core wound, or false belief, that they aren’t really a loving person or that they don’t know how to love right. In reaction, Relyers can go almost overboard to create and maintain relationships. Their way of doing this is to engage other people in helping them or giving to them in some way.
For people whose primary type is the Relyer, the warrior archetype is their kryptonite and therefore likely to be in shadow. Thus, the final step on the pathway for these people is likely to be into their warrior. To take this step,
Relyer types usually need to learn how to set appropriate boundaries in their relationships, which usually involves realizing that they can strengthen, not weaken, their relationships by asserting themselves and becoming more self-sufficient.
Note: If you are wondering how high, or how low, you might be in Relying, then do our Survey, and talk with one of our certified Practitioners. If you want a more in-depth understanding of the Relyer (and the 11 other Shadow Types), then please attend one of our Trainings.