Even when you were very young, you wanted to distinguish yourself from others. You wanted to prove that you could be a real person. You wanted to show that you could become Independent. You instinctively knew that to build your Independence, you needed to produce results. You needed to have an impact on the world that surrounded you in some way, or you could never be truly Independent. So, you learned to say “No,” because that created a result. It set you apart from your parents. In doing so, you felt more real.
You also liked to show that you could do things on your own ––by yourself –– because those results also proved that you were a real person, who could be Independent from others. And if you failed ––or if you needed too much help –– you got angry and frustrated because this made you seem less strong and therefore less real. This is because you built yourself as a real, independent person by measuring your results in the world. This is still true for you today. If you succeed in the external world, you could assume that you are a real person. But if you fail, you begin to question your reality.
Being real is well illustrated by the archetypal figure of a Warrior. Warriors live to produce results in the concrete, external world. They personify a strong relationship with the reality of the world. If you imagine a king and queen who want to accomplish something new in their kingdom, they are likely to charge a Warrior with the completion of that task. Warriors are confident. They have strong egos. They relate well to the real world. And they get results.